Sunday, April 11, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How to be Famous
To be famous you must meet the following requirements:
Have a sob story.
Must be willing to tell that story.
Must be a drug-addict, alcoholic, or sex-addict.
Must have a constant vulnerability.
Must be willing to die young and preferability tragically.
Because I am a MAN
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AAA is not an option. I will win.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers, as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole program looking for it...though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, hunting, sex, cars, sex, tractors, sex, fishing, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2010, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.=)
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers, as a form of holy communion.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole program looking for it...though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, hunting, sex, cars, sex, tractors, sex, fishing, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2010, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.=)
Monday, April 5, 2010
It's a good HURT. it makes me feel I'm ALIVE...
My sister posted this quote- maybe Alzheimer could be the cure for a broken heart.
but what can i say : maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like. Be a fighter as the difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter.
its true death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live..so much hurt, so much pain.once The weirdest thing happened the other morning...I woke up with tears in my eyes...and one rolling down my cheek...and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.
even though my world may appear to have collapsed around me, strangely enough, i also noticed that most things still remain the same. But why do i suddenly feel so out of place? i felt totally out of sorts. For the moment, it feels like that i’ll never going to emerge from my sadness. I did feel that life is over.
Till i realized that ,i lost everything but i cannot afford to lose my studies.and question: why God chooses me?? because LIFE IS A GAME. and God gives me all these challenges because I AM the BEST PLAYER so that's why He chooses me.and whenever you have any difficulties in life, remember about this. there must be a reason why its you that have to face this.
It's never too late, we still have chances in our life. we'll definitely get up once again.we'll laugh again. we'll live again...and i will....
It's a matter of time. It's a matter of time before normalcy returns. And;
The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.- Gwyneth Paltrow.
And learn that there are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go because all these things happen to make you into a person you are meant to be.
Ps: Many thanks to Rosmawati Abdul Rahman, Su Kyaw Khairunnisa, Rehanah Parkeer Othman, Zakyah Saaharatol Mat Kamal, Wan Nur Akmal, Nik Nur Amira, Safiyyah Omar, Marisa Haqqu, Shazwani Abu Kassim and Roy...
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see…i cant say no more and i rest my case. =)
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