Saturday, January 29, 2011

Surat Dari Kekasih ~

- Khalil Gibran

Untukmu yang selalu Kucintai,
Saat kau bangun di pagi hari, Aku memandangmu dan
berharap engkau akan berbicara kepadaKu., bercerita,
meminta pendapatKu, mengucapkan sesuatu untukKu
walaupun hanya sepatah kata.

Atau berterima kasih kepadaKu atas sesuatu hal yang
indah yang terjadi dalam hidupmu pada tadi malam, kemarin, atau waktu yang lalu….
Tetapi Aku melihat engkau begitu sibuk mempersiapkan diri untuk pergi bekerja…
Tak sedikitpun kau menyedari Aku di dekat mu.

Aku kembali menanti saat engkau sedang bersiap,
Aku tahu akan ada sedikit waktu bagimu untuk berhenti dan menyapaKu, tetapi engkau terlalu sibuk…

Di satu tempat, engkau duduk tanpa melakukan apapun.
Kemudian Aku melihat engkau menggerakkan kakimu.
Aku berfikir engkau akan datang kepadaKu, tetapi engkau
berlari ke telefon dan menelefon seorang teman untuk sekadar berbual-bual.

Aku melihatmu ketika engkau pergi bekerja dan Aku
menanti dengan sabar sepanjang hari. Namun dengan
semua kegiatanmu Aku berfikir engkau terlalu sibuk
untuk mengucapkan sesuatu kepadaKu.

Sebelum makan siang Aku melihatmu memandang ke
sekeliling, mungkin engkau merasa malu untuk berbicara
kepadaKu, itulah sebabnya mengapa engkau tidak
sedikitpun menyapaKu.

Engkau memandang tiga atau empat meja sekitarmu dan
melihat beberapa temanmu berbicara dan menyebut namaKu
dengan lembut sebelum menjamah makanan yang kuberikan,
tetapi engkau tidak melakukannya…..

Ya, tidak mengapa, masih ada waktu yang tersisa dan
Aku masih berharap engkau akan datang kepadaKu,
meskipun saat engkau pulang ke rumah kelihatannya
seakan-akan banyak hal yang harus kau kerjakan.

Setelah tugasmu selesai, engkau menghidupkan TV, Aku
tidak tahu apakah kau suka menonton TV atau tidak,
hanya engkau selalu ke sana dan menghabiskan banyak
waktu setiap hari di depannya, tanpa memikirkan apapun
dan hanya menikmati siaran yang ditampilkan, hingga waktu-
waktu untukKu dilupakan.

Kembali Aku menanti dengan sabar saat engkau menikmati
makananmu tetapi kembali engkau lupa menyebut namaKu
dan berterima kasih atas makanan yang telah Kuberikan.

Saat tidur Kufikir kau merasa terlalu lelah.
Setelah mengucapkan selamat malam kepada keluargamu,
kau melompat ke tempat tidurmu dan tertidur tanpa
sepatahpun namaKu kau sebut. Tidak mengapa kerana mungkin
engkau masih belum menyedari bahawa Aku selalu hadir untukmu.

Aku telah bersabar lebih lama dari yang kau sedari.
Aku bahkan ingin mengajarkan bagaimana bersabar terhadap orang lain. Aku sangat menyayangimu, setiap hari Aku menantikan sepatah kata darimu, ungkapan isi hatimu, namun tak kunjung tiba.

Baiklah….. engkau bangun kembali dan kembali Aku
menanti dengan penuh kasih bahawa hari ini kau akan
memberiKu sedikit waktu untuk menyapaKu…

Tapi yang Kutunggu … ah tak juga kau menyapaKu.
Subuh, Zuhur, Asar, Magrib, Isya dan Subuh lagi
kau masih tidak mempedulikan Aku.

Tak ada sepatah kata, tak ada seucap doa, tak ada
pula harapan dan keinginan untuk sujud kepadaKU….

Apakah salahKu padamu …? Rezeki yang Kulimpahkan,
kesihatan yang Kuberikan, Harta yang Kurelakan, makanan
yang Kuhidangkan , Keselamatan yang Kukurniakan,
kebahagiaan yang Kuanugerahkan, apakah hal itu tidak
membuatmu ingat kepadaKu ???

Percayalah, Aku selalu mengasihimu, dan Aku tetap
berharap suatu saat engkau akan menyapaKu, memohon
perlindunganKu, bersujud menghadapKu … Kembali kepadaKu.

Yang selalu bersamamu setiap saat,
Tuhanmu….

Thursday, January 13, 2011

e world would be a better place without me, and i simply won't allow that

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards. You should die first and get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating... Then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I like it. no? =)

-Andy Rooney

An Animated Cartoon Theology:


  • People are animals.
  • The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain.
  • Life is antagonistic to the living.
  • The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned, bombed, and plucked for music.
  • The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by their own cunning.
  • The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by their own momentum.
  • We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

2011…

Don’t judge maturity based on age. Heh.

So this is a big year for me. I’m in my final year final semester already and this is what going to happen:

1. After grad, am going back to my hometown- Kelantan. Am going to work there. Do my chambering and probably I’ll give myself 2 and half years to save money- this is for the travel-backpack around e world. Mom said its not a good idea as I can do better things rather than wasting my money travelling. Its what she called INVESTMENT.- buy property and extend it. Well her idea of wealth is perfect but ma, this is my life. Its true that I can travel after that which is what? At the age of 28?30? Il be heck busy at that time. And I supposed I wont be this energetic and fun anymore. Plus at that age, am thinking of expanding my business- having my own law firm or working with a bank/ company as a legal advisor (which is : this happen after I do my masters. This would be after the travelling plan.) im going to travel at the age of 25 ½ or early 26. Then proceed doing masters probably in Islamic banking or ooh wait I should talk bout this in point no 2.

2. So ya why proceed to masters 3 years after grad? –because I want to see what the reality is. The market outside there. What do they want? What are they lacking of? I don’t want to study and have no idea what’s going on out there-practically and then il end up doing something that is out of my area. Its such a waste for my brain and time, no? however I have a problem pertaining to this idea. MONEY! How to proceed my studies since i just gt back from travelling around e world?

I came up with another plan:

a) Marriage. Marry me (if u have money to support my studies). –I doubt this going to happen tho.

b) Scholarship from any companies- I don’t have any confidence in this since my vision in applying this is still blur.

: that’s it. The plan- of studies. I guess I have to work my ass off in convincing any companies to support me. I have this idea about investment. Ok note: am speaking from the layman’s point of view. Am not a financier nor a banker ( I never involved in e studies of this area) but what I see is many Muslim countries are extremely rich. But we also know that many Muslim countries and Muslim people are extremely poor. We should really be able to spread the wealth to the poor not just through charity but also through investments. But unfortunately the capacity of Muslims to invest is quite limited. They are short on industrial expertise, particularly manufacturing. When they invest it is often only in property development. These cannot create jobs and the spin-offs are quite limited. Their added value is really artificial, being dependent on speculative demands. The banks should be able to advise their clients on the fragility of such markets. Unfortunately they appear not to have done this.

You know, Islamic banking is everywhere nowadays (in Malaysia) however the scope of it is still limited. True we’re still new and its in e process of developing- e latest project –workpaper is the mega Islamic bank. But irony how I found wholly that almost 300 years passed before the Muslims could think of setting up banks which conforms to Islamic teachings on rejection of interest. By this time the people who invented and utilised the interest-based banking system had drawn far ahead of the Muslim countries in terms of wealth, economic development and military power. Wait I should stop talking about this. Sounds boring to you, no?

3. Oh ya! This final year final semester, I was appointed by my lecturer to be his research assistant in this project about the position of non muslims in Malaysia. Something like that la. So he assigned me to do a research pertaining to the prerogative used of e word Allah by the non muslims in Malaysia. Apparently il gt paid. It’s the university project-they have budget on this. I’m very flattered with his offer and the fact that he has confidence in me.

4. The sad thing about this future plan is- am losing my friends since am going to work in Kelantan. I know friends will always be there but seriously with the new environment and all, how often are we going to keep in touch? This is sad and devastating. Plus its not easy for me to be friends with people. Am crazy but at the same time- who the fuck are you to be friends with me?

Am ego, judgmental and apparently my ex said that a guy needs to have 3 balls to date me. Heh. Haha.

Neway there are so many reasons why I choose to work there. –blablabla its boring. Yawn*

so yeah that’s it. All the best people!

Note: dear God, I hate asking things from you coz I don’t want to bore you with my prayers. The fact that am still alive is appreciated enough. but please let things happen for the best.

and please protect me from your other followers..

Ps: I hope my future clients or my professor wont see the video that I uploaded last night. Hahah I was highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~ oh but wait not more than 10 people know the existence of this blog and who cares?

like a tard, nana nana~

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub- simpson


a true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart...

i can no other answer make, but thanks and thanks.

ps: you know who u are. e owner of leica dlx 5 =)